The Perils of Waking Up Early

It was a particularly dull winter morning when I decided I need to get into shape. The sun was still sleepy and I decided let’s meet him on the jogging park today. What at that seemed a blissful thought soon turned out to be a distressful nightmare at the crack of dawn. For all those people who tell you early to rise is a good thing, let me assure they got it wrong…terribly wrong.

This is how my morning (and an early one at that) proceeded.

The Chill!

There is a reason we don’t like getting out of the bed during winters. It’s because our body inherently knows it ain’t good for us. If you are from a high profile family like mine which doesn’t have carpets and a heater, then you’d be testimony to this fact. Setting foot on the floor after you wake up is like standing on a 1023.5 nails (you only keep half of your other feet).

The braveheart that I am wrestled the floor (by dragging the blanket onto it) and headed to get fresh. To sum up the experience, I commend the white man’s discovery of tissue papers as the greatest of all time.

The Mist the Fog and the Indian Lorry

Pulled up curtains never let me know that at 6 in the morning in the middle of winter it is dark in Bombay! And whatever shred of light comes your way quickly disappears in the mist.

Another revelation that struck me at the same time is that lorries ply their way without headlights carrying drunk drivers among other things. And that they don’t care of investing in horns, screeching breaks are suitable low cost alternatives that they have dug up. How I managed to get out of one such monster’s way is better left to imagination. And in case you are imagine the new bond movie for reference.

It is a conspiracy - They let out the dogs

It is indeed difficult for me to accept that someone wasn’t after my life that morning. If savage and very much blind trucks were not enough I found a gang of dogs at the naka. They were all set .. red banadana and beedis finishing up the portrait. This was the first step in me learning how much a bone I resemble and quite a juicy one at that. I see no other reason why all seven of them needed to make a mad dash at me when one would have sufficed handsomely.

But the Faith was restored

After all god hadn’t forsaken me. Another one of the blind lorries came speeding, which was enough to send the pack of mongrels scampering and all that was left was half a dozen beedis.

Then the Sun came out

I presume mostly to get a better look at my plight; whatever might be the case his presence certainly helped. And though familiarity breeds contempt I didn’t quite mind seeing the familiar scenes in semi bright sunlight. Perhaps his blushed orange face was the only relief I was going to get for this mistake I made.

For the park didn’t quite seem what it used to be and the only thing worth doing there was being gleefully done by the urchins of the slums nearby. What a sight so early in the morning.

Lesson (and a mighty one at that) learned and I treaded back home to get a sound morning’s sleep.

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